Throughout your life, it’s normal to have the desire to improve yourself or change your circumstances. Seemingly, the most logical way to make a change is to set a goal. However, if that’s true, then why do so many of us fail to achieve our goals?
This begs the question, are goals important? If few people can achieve them, should you even bother with goal setting at all? The truth is goals have limitations. They are outcome-focused and often don’t account for changing external circumstances. If you fail to reach them, it leads to disappointment and frustration leaving you feeling worse than before your started.
What if instead of focusing on goals you focused on identifying values and taking action towards living those values? Unlike outcome-based goals, values don’t change when your circumstances do.
In this post, I’ll explain the limitations of goal setting, the importance of identifying personal values, how focusing on values-based committed actions can change your life, and answer the question are goals important.
The Limitations of Goal Setting
When you set a goal, you have something specific that you want to achieve, like advancing your career, losing weight, or running a marathon. On the surface, these goals seem like normal pursuits. There’s nothing wrong with trying to achieve something specific, but solely focusing on that outcome can become a recipe for disaster.
For example, if your goal is to run a marathon, but you get injured and can’t train, then you will likely feel like a failure because you are unable to achieve your goal. You will probably end up feeling worse than if you did nothing at all.
No matter how hard you try, or how dedicated you are, external factors can destroy goals. Not only can this leave you feeling like a failure, but it can have severe mental health consequences.
The good news is that you don’t have to throw goals out the window, they still have their purpose, but you should shift your priorities and focus on values first.
Why Values Are More Important Than Goals
So, what are values? Values are the guiding principles that shape your life. They are like a compass that if followed will lead you to your life’s purpose. Simply put, values are what matters most to you.
Dr. Russ Harris, a renowned psychotherapist and leading expert on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), provides an insightful definition in his book ACT Made Simple:
“Values are the deepest desires of your heart for how you want to act, how you want to treat yourself, others, and the world.”
Values play a vital role in personal growth and self-awareness. By understanding your values, you can discover where you need to take your life. Unlike goals, values don’t change. They hold strong and you can adapt your life no matter what life throws your way. That’s why values are more important than goals, and the first step is learning how to identify them.
How To Identify Core Values
To identify your core values, first, think about what is important to you based on different areas of your life such as family, work, relationships, and health. You can write down each life area and make a list of values under them. For example, under work, you may write independence. You may also find that some values are repeated throughout multiple areas of your life. If this happens it’s a good indicator that it’s a core value.
You can do this exercise on your own to identify values, or if you prefer, I have created an interactive tool that will walk you through several questions designed to surface your values. The tool is below, you won’t have to leave this page. Note: If you’re on a mobile device, and you have trouble with the embedded tool, please use this direct link.
To learn more about how values affect behavior, read my post, “How Do Values Affect Behavior?”
Values-Based Action Is Greater Than Setting Goals
Values-based action is exactly what it sounds like, taking action aligned with personal values. Let’s call this towards moves. For example, if one of your core values is health, think about small actions you can take every day to be healthier. This could be eating healthy foods, exercising, prioritizing sleep, and avoiding drugs and alcohol. No matter what changes in your life, there will always be small actions you can take toward this value.
It’s important to note however that you should hold your values lightly. While it’s important to make towards moves, know that you will also make away moves. Sticking with the example of health, away moves could be eating fast food, skipping the gym some days, or having some drinks at a party. This is normal, you shouldn’t expect yourself to always take the right actions toward your values. You’re only human. However, throughout your life, if you can make more toward moves than away moves, then you will find greater fulfillment.
Values-Based Action Can Be Uncomfortable
The “comfort zone” is where personal growth goes to die. The unfortunate reality is that values-based committed action involves taking action in alignment with your values, even when it is uncomfortable or challenging. This concept is often called “Optimal Anxiety.”
Optimal anxiety is a level of anxiety that is helpful in motivating you to improve your life. It is the sweet spot between the comfort zone, which can result in boredom and lack of motivation, and too much anxiety, which can lead to excessive stress, anger, and depression.
The personal example I often give for this is when I coached my son’s soccer team. My core value is being a good father. When an opportunity to coach my son came up, it scared me, but I committed to doing it. Getting through it wasn’t easy, but slowly my confidence built. I became a good coach and was able to be there for my son. Additionally, it reduced my fear of trying new things and lessened anxiety in other areas of my life.
By embracing discomfort, you can live a more fulfilling life, and goals can help you do this.
Are Goals Important In Changing Your Life
If you want to use goals to change your life, then you need to align them with personal values. Goals can provide direction while values provide a purpose. Think of values like a GPS on a road trip, and goals are the waypoints along the journey.
Goals can help you measure progress, inspire action, and increase short-term focus and productivity. When goals are aligned with personal values, you are more likely to achieve them.
To align goals with values, write down the values in the area of your life you’re trying to change. Then write goals under those values. Break those goals out into specific steps you can take. Finally, write down how you plan to adapt if your circumstances change. This will help you hold your goals lightly. If something derails your goal, it doesn’t have to derail your life.
The Benefits of Values-Based Committed Action Aligned With Goals
When you learn to tie values to committed actions or goals, you gain a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in life. This will lead you to increased resilience and adaptability when changes inevitably come your way. Additionally, it will improve your self-awareness. By thinking about the why behind your goal, you will know what you’re actually working towards. For example, it’s not about running that marathon; it’s about living the healthiest life you can by doing activities you love. And this my friend is the secret to truly making progress in life.
Are Goals Important?
The answer to the question is, it’s complicated. Goals on their own are not that important because you are unlikely to ever achieve them if you don’t have a motivating value underneath your pursuit.
Goals are important as waypoints on our journey, but they are not the key to living a fulfilling life. Action aligned with core values is. In fact, it’s perfectly ok to not set goals as long as you take small actions to live in accordance with your values more often than not. That said, goals can be an important tool to help you achieve great things, as long as you hold them lightly and learn how to adapt when life doesn’t go your way.
